Fake FBI Still Helping Nigerian Scammers

Not long ago, I told you the unfolding story of the FBI helping a set of Nigerian scammers who were upset that their identities were being stolen by some other set of Nigerian scammers.

Now Mr Robert Mueller III, who is apparently the Director of the FBI, says I haven’t fulfilled my financial obligations to get my payment.  Now remember, I don’t have any payment coming from Nigeria.

——–Content of email from fake FBI————–

Flag this message
FBI Director Robert S.Mueller
Tuesday, February 24, 2009 3:48 AM [Burning the midnight oil to send this message out]
From:
“Robert Mueller” <rob@aol.com> [The FBI actually have their own mail server and a domain they can use - fbi.gov]
Add sender to Contacts
To:
undisclosed-recipients [how is it that the FBI cannot afford mail-merge software like MS Word?]
Attn: Beneficiary, [If I had a connection, wouldn't they know my name?]

This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, MrFrank Nweke, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, kelvin Young of HSBC,Ben of Fedex,Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment. [Note: they are supporting an illegal transaction here]

Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment in total USD$11,000.000.00 in an ATM CARD which you can use to withdraw money from any ATM MACHINE CENTER anywhere in the world with a maximum of $4000 to $5000 United States Dollars daily. You now have the lawful right to claim your fund in an ATM CARD. [The daily limits set at ATM machines guarantee that I will never be able to withdraw all of my 11 million, even if I go to every ATM within driving distance,  every day, for the rest of my life.  Thanks Fake FBI!]

Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $150.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction. ["rest assured" is not a noun phrase]

CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: Kelvin Williams
EMAIL:kelvinwilliams63@gmail.com
Telephone Number: +234-803-392-0665

Do contact Mr. Kelvin Williams of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:

FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
BANK NAME:
AGE:

So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment informations which you’ll use in making payment of $150.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay.

We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you. [An official order from the fake FBI using a royal "we."]

Thanks and hope to read from you soon. [Oh yeah, buddy.  Lets go shoot some pool, Bob]

FBI Director Robert S.Mueller III.

Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to
[The message abruptly ends right there.  Gosh I hope he's ok.]

———-end of message from fake FBI—————–

You may be wondering why I put up these fake phishing emails and dissect them on the site.  Well I am glad you asked.  I think the easiest way to train people to see these is to make fun of the scammers rather than make fun of the victims.  There are a lot of articles about the dumb people who fell for one of these things.  I don’t like the meta-message there, hence my interest in making fun of the scammers.  Scammers are almost always worse than second-graders in their usage of English, and almost always claim titles for themselves that require much better educations than they  display in the emails (or mailed letters).  BTW, I think the excuse that there is some sort of ulterior motive to appearing so stupid is itself rather stupid.  Banks employ dozens of people as proofreaders to make sure their message is not misconstrued.  Government officials like the real Robert Mueller, Director of the FBI, do not, as a rule, send chatty threatening letters to undisclosed recipients demanding money.  I think the best defense against scammers is to let everybody know how easy it is to spot these things, in as humorous a way as I possibly can.